This isn't what I feel like doing this morning, but I feel like I should. This is the LAST DAY of 2010 and since I'm approaching 2011 with the hopes of some running victories, I should bid 2010 a proper goodbye.
Deb sent me an entry in her professional blog yesterday. The way she words things is so perfect in relation to the way she's feeling. I read it and thought "Man, why can't I write like that?" She talked about New Years being a time of new beginnings, resolutions and a chance to hit the "re-set" button. I absorbed what she had written and began to reflect a bit on the past year and look toward what is coming.
I know I said a couple of entries ago that there would be no looking back at the marathon mishaps of 2010. However, I don't think I can grow as a runner UNLESS I look back. I have over and over again thought about how unfair it is that I did not meet my goal or "resolution" of 2010. I have chosen to expose myself, and I now find myself regretting it a bit. Mostly because if you look at my entries as a whole, I believe they collectively resemble a game of ping pong.... "hey I'm running! Oh wait, hey, I'm injured. No wait a minute, I'm running. Ok, well, now I'm injured." I suppose now people wait for these predictable entries. I don't regret blogging. It is here for me and it helps me, but people are reading. How do I know this? Well, people don't comment on the blogging site, but I get a lot of e-mails. There is also a place to view stats and to date, this blog has received 1,839 views since my first entry less than 2 months ago. It does not count my own views from my computer. It also tells the audience by country and I have had views from most countries. It's very cool to see but before you get too impressed, the reason for this is that I frequent the Runner's World blogging forum (I love to read other runner's blogs... I seem so... NORMAL in that world). One runner was asking for runners to post their personal blog sites for him to read, so like many others, I posted mine. So now anyone that goes to the blogging forum can access and read blogs that the runner's have posted and since Runner's World magazine and website are worldwide, well EVERYONE can access. Ok, so now the number 1,839 doesn't seem like a lot, but I suppose it isn't too shabby for a non famous ordinary runner from Harrison, Ohio that is keeping a personal public running diary. And somewhere in Israel, there is a follower(s) because with the United States having the most views and Canada second, Israel has had 44. I'm guessing it's the same person, who either can relate, or is getting quite a kick out of the crazy bitch that is portrayed. Either way he/she sees it, I'm cool with it.
So now my thoughts on 2010. Well this has been a bittersweet year for me. If I pick out the difficult and negative things, it looks like a year of nothing but setbacks, failures and annoyances. I suppose this is how many people reflect on a year when a goal was not reached. But if I look a little further, I see so many wonderful things that have come out of this year. In January, I began joining the Westside group on their hill run. I met some great people who have helped shape my running. In April, I went to Boston with Sarah and although I did not run, being there solidified and renewed my resolve to get there. Sarah got there the good old fashioned way... blood, sweat and tears and lots of time in between and then she executed that marathon with incredible strength and speed. On that same day, many miles away, my sister delivered a beautiful baby boy, of whom I was asked to be the Godmother. I can honestly say that April 19th was the best day of this year. In June, Sarah and I did the Morgan's triathlon and cinched 1st place in our division. In July, my family took a wonderful vacation that my kids call "their favorite ever" and I got to meet my Godson and see my precious nieces. In August, my kids went back to school (yeah, that's always a good day for this mama... I love 'em, but....). In September, I went to Columbus with my friend, Kim the day after I ran my first 20 miler. We ran a 5k in memory of her friend's sister, who had died of ovarian cancer. My legs were sore and heavy and I had little expectations for this race and therefore, chose not to get a timing chip. When the race began, Kim was out of the gate at sub 7 minute miles. Alrighty then, Kim. Let's see what you want to do with this. Well I think Kim was after a fast race. A PR, if you will. So I ran with her, talked to her the whole way, gave her tips on stride and breathing and hanging tough. She listened and finished in 23:57... her best time. So I got a little look at my own ability to push and encourage others and then thought "I ran 20 tough miles yesterday in the heat and I talked to Kim the entire way today so she could get a PR." That was a good feeling. Again, when I run for others I believe I run my best. I also went to my 20th high school reunion in September and reconnected with Molly. Molly is the reason I will register for and run the Chicago Marathon next October. In October, well, we can maybe just leave this month alone. The first half was filled with nervousness and the second half, heartbreak. One bad month in twelve ain't too bad. Although when I think about it, John moved his office in October and got settled into a new, more convenient updated space. The move was very scary for him, but the transition went smoothly and things are going well. In November there was the HRC's Thanksgiving Day run, which brought many members in the rain who made food donations to our Harrison food pantry. And now, sweet December is wrapping up. I am spending Christmas with my family today. Three years ago on Christmas Eve, we questioned whether my dad pull through quintuple bypass. Three years later we are blessed that he will be spending more Christmases with us.
In the course of this year, I have also found a group of friends in Harrison to run with. I enjoy their company so much and get a thrill from watching the growth and improvement that is happening in us all. This includes Jen, Tammy, Kim, Greg and Sarah. Sarah has shifted her goals, but I am so happy that she continues to join this group (ok, LEAD this group) on some of the runs. She serves as an inspiration to us all (and spells trouble for me when I run with her fresh from the injured list.... but it's worth it). Great things are ahead for all these athletes in 2011.
I will begin 2011 with a funeral in New Jersey for my Uncle Marshall who died two nights ago. My uncle had brain cancer, which we knew, but his spiraling so quickly the week of Christmas was unexpected. I spent many Christmases and Thanksgivings with my aunt and uncle and their two children when they lived in Indianapolis. When they moved, it was only for big family events that I saw them and my aunt was always the same. I know exactly what will happen when I see her. She too, is quite predictable. She will take my face in her hands and say with absolute sincerity "Oh my God, Kate. Look at you. You are so beautiful. Oh my, come here and let me hug you." I know this because she's done it every time I've seen her since I can remember, which is about nine years old. I will feel like I'm nine again. I just know it. It won't matter that she is in the depths of despair over the loss of her husband. For that moment, she will put her grief aside and take some time to make me feel good. It is who she is and for that reason, I would never miss my uncle's funeral. I will also let that serve as a lesson for me as I enter the next year injured and unable to run. I will put aside the negativity and frustration I feel and take what I've learned to help whoever asks.
So I'll end thanking God for the many blessings of 2010. Some of them, definitely in disguise, but they are there. I hope that as anyone reading reflects on the past year, they can pick out the good things that have happened. Look around, open your eyes, quiet your mind and they will become clear.
Happy New Year!
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