The Big Pig Disaster

This is the post I have been putting off because it is a very unpleasant event to revisit.  It wasn't even so much the actual marathon either.  It was the weeks before, as well as the weeks that followed.  I previously described my mental state in the sense that I was beginning to panic over the forecast that was being predicted for marathon morning.  Every time I logged on to that damn weather.com, it seemed our chances of thunderstorms increased until they reached 100% and stayed there.  There was that picture of the lightening bolt that kept sticking out at me.  My sister in Nashville had enlightened me about the recent Nashville marathon that was canceled part way through due to "severe weather".  She mentioned something about tornados I believe.  So needing an outlet for some apparent anxiety over the race, I zoned in completely on the weather... as if I could do a darn thing about it.  Remember, during this time, I really thought I was in check for the race, both physically and mentally.  After all, I had checked my training log over again and again and my log indicated race day success!  I was ready... if only the forecast would cooperate (not the case.... did not realize it... at the time)

The day before the Pig brought a morning downpour.  I remember this well because I was standing in it at Jack's track meet, a meet in which Jack was refusing to run. The track was flooded around the turns.  My mind focused on the next morning as I tried to picture myself splashing through puddles in the middle of a giant thunderstorm.  I was beginning to wonder how and the heck one runs that far with SO MUCH RAIN!

Following our Team Mitch party at Maria's, John and I brought the kids to John's mom and dad.  Krista was with us.  She had come from Columbus to run the half marathon and was staying with me that night.  Let me tell you, the anxiety wasn't even comparable to what I experienced the night before the 2009 Columbus Marathon.  I felt more relaxed and maybe it was because most of my time around Krista is spent laughing.  We got back to the house and began our race day prep... trying to figure out shorts or capri's, charging ipods, pinning numbers and tying on timing chips.  I really think it was a godsend having her there that night.  We spent some time chatting, catching up on what my previous co-workers in Columbus were up and talking about all kinds of stuff.  Finally it was time for bed.  I settled in, aware that although nervous, I was not "freaking out".  I drifted off sooner that I expected I would and was awakened hours later to the sound loud thunder accompanied by flashes of lightening.  Oh boy, this would be fun.

Not so bright, but super early, I was up getting ready.  The rain was incredible, as were the impressive bolts of lightening that kept flashing through my window.  At this point, all I could do was laugh.  I had no idea how all this weather would unfold during the race, but we were soon to find out.  Once we were ready with our packed race bags, we headed out to pick up Sarah, who was also running the half after running Boston two weeks prior.  With two of the best girlfriends anyone could ever wish for, both of whom I love dearly for different reasons, and my husband in the car, I took a brief and silent moment to consider what I had been blessed with.  I recall thinking that this was going to be a wonderful day and we were off to a memorable and qualifying marathon.  Memorable it was!

I am not exaggerating when I describe the lightening as blinding on the way to the race.  Those bolts were massive!  Sarah was jokingly trying to block the windows to prevent me from seeing.  I did  not know how they could justify running this race on time with weather like this but I just wanted to get to the start and RUN.  It was a rush to the start as John pretty much dumped us out and went to find parking.  It was pouring as the three of us (Krista, Sarah and I) made our way through the crowd of runners to find our lucky spots.  With minutes to spare, we made it.  I got to the 3:40 pacer to find my two cousins, Sean and Brian waiting.  I hugged my friends and told them good luck and I'd see them at the finish line.  Let's just say I am thankful to not have been the tallest standing object in that crowd with the lightening we had.

I set my Garmin just in time to hear the gun go off, indicating the race had begun!  So with the rain pouring down and lightening flashing everywhere, the Flying Pig marathon had started!  My cousins and I began running.  Again, as the minutes went by, the nerves melted away.  The very act of running was so calming.  I found a lot of humor in those that were avoiding the puddles...  seriously, our shoes were drenched and you had runners who I guess wanted theirs "less drenched"?  I saw this as wasted energy.  Trying to dodge the inevitable.  Well I was a smart racer and I would run straight and not try to go around anything (unless it included a very slow runner).  Miles one and two were spent warming up and calming down.  Mile three, the rain seemed to be easing a bit.  I began to feel a little tight in my left hamstring.  Almost like I needed to stretch it out.  It was here where I decided to back off of the 3:40 pacer as I began to worry about the 3 mile climb to Eden Park.  I figured I'd keep him in my sights and I'd catch up after the hill.  What I didn't realize at the time (thank goodness) is that he was behind where he should have been.  I continued to zone in on his balloons.  I looked back and could not see the 3:45 pacer so I was in good shape.  I felt I'd made a smart decision.  My hamstring did not hurt.  But I wasn't sure why it felt so darn tight!  Mile 4-5, the beginning of the long climb.  I remember thinking of Mitch and Seth during this part.  I also remember my hamstring tightness easing up a bit as the hill got steeper.  I was elated that the hill training, combined with the taper was paying off.  I was steady and strong on the hill.  I marveled at how good I felt and knew everything was going to be ok.  The rain was a light mist now and everyone seemed to have a great time.  My friend Kim's husband, Joe, who was running the half, caught up to me and we chatted for a bit before he continued to climb up at a faster pace.  I remember passing the eight mile mark.  Toward the top of the hill there was a fluid station.  I realized I had only stopped once for a drink and decided now would be good.  The hill was just about over and the hardest part of the marathon, which didn't seem so hard, was going to be behind me.  I slowed down and grabbed a cup.  As I started to run, pushing my left leg forward, I felt a sudden and severe pain in my left hamstring.  I yelled "F%@K" so loudly that the majority of runners turned to look at me.  I tried to continue running, as I was just about at the top.  I did not know what to do.  I had no phone.  I had no idea when I would see John.  I began to run in hopes that it would work itself out, but it wasn't happening.  Miraculously, I saw John.  He was cheering and waving with the video camera.  I made my way over to him and told him I thought that I had pulled a hamstring.  "Come on, I'll run with you" was his response.  I started crying and said I could not.  I had tried when it first happened but the stabbing pain from behind my leg was something I could not work through for 17 more miles, or in my mind, even 1 more mile.  I was now on the sidewalk feeling like I was in a fog.  It hit me that it was over.  All the training and preparation for this race had come to an abrupt end between miles 8 and 9.  I was approached by a Team in Training coach who asked if I needed anything.  Then Kathleen stopped and asked if I was ok.  I told her what had happened and that I was out of the race.  I could not believe that this was happening.  I stood there sobbing on the sidewalk as I tried to wrap my brain around my race being over.  Thank God for small miracles, such as the car being directly across the street.  John and I made our way across the course, and as we did, the 3:45 pacer ran by.  Sitting in the warm car hugging my legs on the seat, we made our way back to the start.  I don't remember our conversation.  I just remember sitting there in complete disbelief.  I recall calling my sister Maggie, who I figured was up bright and early in Texas tracking her sister on-line.  Nope, I woke the bitch up!  Really?  Damn it, Mag, I was running a BQ marathon and you are sleeping?   Ok, there's another shout out for Maggie.  I mean, who cares that she had just brought her sickly newborn baby boy home from the hospital like, the day before or something like that,  I WAS RUNNING A MARATHON, for God sakes!  All kidding aside, Maggie was really upset for me and I hated making that call to her.

 Once we got into downtown, I knew Sarah should be finishing up her half.  Sure enough, sitting there in the warm car, John's cell phone rang.   I saw Sarah's number and told John to get it.  There was just no way I could keep any kind of composure at that moment.  "How's she doing?"  I could hear her through the silence in the car (iphones... not good for private conversations either).  "Well, she is sitting right here with me.  She pulled her hamstring and she's out of the race."  "Shut up, John.  Not funny.  How is she doing really??"  John is like the boy who cried wolf.  He jokes so much, that people really don't know when to take him seriously.  "Sarah I'm serious.  Here, talk to her."  I shot him a glaring look as I took the phone.  "Hey Sarah, it's me."  "What the HELL?  What happened?  OH MY GOD!  I thought John was just being, well.... JOHN!"  I'm pretty sure that was the sequence of her words.  I gave the phone back to John so he could tell her where to meet us.  Minutes later, Sarah appeared at the car window, soaking wet and draped in her finisher's blanket.  She hopped in the car, leaned over and gave me a hug. I suddenly realized SHE had just run the half and said "Tell me how you did."  She was reluctant to say that two weeks after kicking ass in Boston, she ran a personal best at the Flying Pig 1/2 Marathon in a time that awarded her 2nd in her age group.  Now I felt awful!  I wanted to celebrate her accomplishment, but now she was devastated for my race.  The situation just sucked, plain and simple.
We made our way to the finish line to meet the many runners that were going to be waiting to see me finish the full.  Kim, Vicki, Kevin, Tammy, and Krista all came in little by little.  Again, I know Krista got a personal best (which she has since beat in Columbus... YES, I AM A PRO AT RUINING THE GLORIOUS MOMENTS OF OTHERS).  I think others did too, but their times are escaping me as all these non-qualifying disastrous races are blending together.

We got home, I said my good-byes to Krista, who was heading back to Columbus and we then got ready to go to my nephew's First Communion.  At the First Communion party, there were many Team Mitch members who wanted to know what happened.  I recapped the day with a feigned positivity, mostly because I had succeeded in ruining the special day of my friends and their races and I would not do it to my nephew, who should have been the center of attention.  I claimed to be "doing ok."  In reality, my hamstring hurt, my head hurt and my heart hurt.  I wanted nothing more than to go home and go to bed and put the day behind me.  Little did I know how much effort "putting that day behind me" would take.

This post is finally coming out of "draft mode", where it has been and revisited for four days.  Perhaps the not finishing is what makes the revisit so difficult.  I know it is said that with each failure and setback, there are valuable lessons learned.  I know this, yet I've still never found the silver lining from that race.  Perhaps the lesson of a strong mental mindset learned and practiced this summer is the one I'm to take from the Pig.  I don't know.  I was told that my body was wound so tightly and so tense that it was no surprise that I suffered a hamstring pull when I had no problems with my hamstrings.  I thought that was bullshit when I heard it.  I no longer do.  More to come on this subject.  For now, I'm happy to have this post behind me!