Monday, March 7, 2011

Moving on...

This is going to be my last post for this blog.  The time that I never thought would come has indeed arrived.  It has taken me several days to let this decision absorb because it is an admission that I am indeed doing something that I for so long refused to do.  I am putting my Boston goal on the back burner and moving on to other things for a bit.  My life has been clouded and been at a standstill for quite sometime because of my inability to execute my BQ goal.  And because of this, I am never fully living the life I was put here to live.  Does this mean I will no longer hope to run a marathon with the time goal of sub 3:40?  Heck no!  But a BQ will not be my goal for my next marathon.  No, my next marathon will hopefully be run as a long run in preparation for an ultra.  The one I have my eye on is the JFK 50 in November.  

I know to many this comes as no surprise.  I have toyed with the idea for nearly 2 years starting when my brother Jack began talking about running crazy distances with some of the runners from his running group.  You see, to many, this sounds like a miserable way to spend one's day.  Running 50 miles or further.  What is the point?  Well to me, it sounds like something I would love to try.  I'm not sure why it intrigues me so much, but it does.  Running distances with no time goal or pace in mind, but rather what hits you at the moment, is very soothing to me.  I do like to race, but I certainly wasn't born to do it.  I like what comes from busting ass and seeing what I can do, but even more I like just going and going and going and at times, feeling like it is effortless.  So I've decided to go for it.  No way do I think 50 miles is going to be effortless!  The thought of running two consecutive marathons on the same day is quite daunting, but I want to try it.  What my last marathon showed me is that I am very capable of pushing through immeasurable pain if I decide to do it.  Most people are, but most decide not to (most people are smarter than I).

There was a time when I really needed Boston to define me as a runner.  As in "Yes, I am a real runner BECAUSE I have qualified for Boston."  This was an unfair and unnecessary way to label myself and I do believe that I have reached a level of maturity that now makes me realize this.  I know lots of runners that will never qualify for Boston, but are more dedicated and committed to the sport of running than most.  To think they are not "real runners" is simply stupid.

I have now entered training territory that will be pretty lonely I imagine.  None of my friends has any desire to do this.  My brother will do it with me and will take me on many of the trail runs that he had done in prep for his ultras.  But really, some things you just don't discuss with your brother!  So therapy time will be spent on shorter runs (you know, like 20 milers or something... ok, that just SOUNDS crazy) in the company of those friends running Chicago or in the company of those friends just aimlessly logging miles with no race in sight.... simply providing their friendship and pacing skills.  Some of those long runs will be in the form of marathons... without the pressure of qualifying.  Can't wait to see what comes of a "long run" which just happens to have a timing chip strapped to my shoelace.  Many times how I wished I had one on some of my training long runs!

My biggest fan and source of support..My husband
Thanks to everyone who followed my story.  It is not the end, just a detour.  Thank you to the many who sent very kind e-mails that were both thought provoking and motivating in response to some of my entries.  Many days your words lifted me up during some very down moments.  For the first time in a very long time I feel very excited and at ease.
Stay tuned.... the inevitable BQ will be announced in the ultra blog!

Four biggest reasons to never quit
The friend who has been with me through all the good bad and just plain crazy... Sarah

1 comment:

  1. I'll tell you what the point get to get the sticker/magnet that says "26.2? That's so cute..."

    THAT'S what the point is.