No coach. I did not take the class yesterday. I walked into the room filled with wiry, serious, thin distance runners and spoke with the course director, Janet. As soon as I introduced myself, she asked me "What happened yesterday?" I said "Well, I flew in and spent the day hanging out with my sister and her kids because my course was Saturday and Sunday. Or so I thought until I was browsing on the sight to see the course overview last night." Poor Janet. She said "Oh NO! You are kidding?" I said "What do I do?"
Janet explained I could not get certified. After reading this on-line, I kind of figured. I had definitely prepared myself for that. She explained how the material they had gone over yesterday was very detailed and even if she gave me the materials, I would be missing so much. Friday's lectures were mostly science based... lots on nutrition and how it affects the metabolic system with running distance. It covered sports pychology (that is one area I was interested for my own self), the muscles, cardio-respiratory, ect.. Very in-depth in regard to just running. Saturday's lectures would be on the priciples of training and applying many of the things they'd learned on Friday and injury (another area I want to explore). They all were wearing running shoes so I figured they were going to do some active learning with drills. She did tell me I would be welcome to stay for the day just to participate, but warned that I may feel lost due to the many references they would make to the previous day.
In a split second, I had three options: stay for the class, stand there and cry or quickly move on to plan "B".
"What would it take to get a course in Cincinnati?" The words were out of my mouth practically before Janet finished talking. All the classes currently scheduled for 2011 are full except for the Las Vegas one in March. That sounds mucho tempting, but is completely impractical for me. Another weekend away from a family with mulitple activies, the expense... it just wouldn't work. Janet actually smiled and said "Not much really. Here is what we need... a large room such as a community center to hold 30 people (check). Close access to an airport (check). Hotels in which participants could stay" (check). Harrison meets all three requirements. I asked her if a running club had to be part of the RRCA to host a certification course and she said "absolutely not!" We'd bring in food and snacks for the two days (which we'd be reimbursed for), provide a projector and that's it. Seems too easy. She gave me the name of the person in charge to contact, which I did as soon as I got back to Maggie's.... and yes, I got lost on the way back too (oh, didn't I mention I got lost on the way there?). I requested a mid-June weekend in Cincinnati (Harrison).
Yesterday I recieved a response from Patti Finke, the person in charge of coordinating the classes. She told me that she is currently working with a host for Flying Pig weekend and that she will know for sure next week and get back to me. With the race on Sunday, I imagaine the class would be FRIDAY and Saturday. This was awesome news. She also offered me a 100.00 discount on a future class, which was quite generous considering the mistake was mine and the course is a financially self-serving course. If the Flying Pig weekend does not pan out, I will host and take the course in June in Harrison (of course, if they say they'll come.. which I think they will... at least they seemed like they would).
So yesterday I spent the day with Maggie and gang. I napped for nearly 3 hours (a result of zero sleep the night before), went to Gracie's birthday party, which was planned for a month after her birthday due to all their crazy Christmas illness and had a very kick ass dinner prepared for me by my sister. Today is a nice long run (well, long for me right now... no not the Houston Marathon like I've been accused of faking my injury, training secretly and planning a BQ on this flat course without anyone tracking me) mass and shopping. Yes, I think I will buy some new boots (consolation prize) After all, it's Texas!
The bigger picture (I'm always looking now during times of extreme disappointment, but there always is one)... This is a course that not only those wanting to coach distance runners take, but also those looking to improve their own running by really learning the in-depth science of the sport. The fact that I will most likely be taking this course right before, or at, the start of Chicago training is not to be overlooked. The knowledge will be fresh and I will be excited to execute some newly learned training principles. So yeah, there is my perspective on this fiasco. No, I'm not always positive (in case this attitude is annoying to glass half empty folks). As a matter of fact, often times I feel my glass is downright empty. But what choice do I have but to stay focused on my goals and continue to plow ahead? It's clear to see that if I didn't look at the bright side, I'd be hanging up my shoes by now and quite likely, not be running at all anymore. There has been a lot of EXTREME disappointment in my Boston quest.. but I'll continue. Because I want it. Plain and simple.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
School of Hard Knocks...Student of the Month
Ever since the Columbus Marathon, I have focused on this weekend. The thought of coming to Houston was filled with excitement and anticipation. This is the weekend I will become a cetified distance running coach through the Road Runner's Club of America. I actually registered before the marathon, knowing that this is something I would love to do. Maggie and her family live in Houston so I'd get to also visit with her. The course is 16 hours... 8 hours a day for two days.
I was very prepared and organized for my trip. I flew in yesterday morning, spent the day with my sister and 2 very excited nieces and nephew I finally decided to look up the address for where I'd be driving in the morning. My brother in law, Geoff, mapquested it for me... looked easy enough, 23 miles away. I went to the RRCA site and went to the course overview section. As I scanned down the page (mind you, it is 8 pm), my eyes fixed on the course days: Friday, January 28th 7-4 and Saturday, January 29th 7-4. I looked again but the dates didn't change. It was Friday evening, January 28th. I had missed the first day.
So here I am. I have missed 8 hours of this expensive certification course. The requirements clearly state I must be present for the entire 16 hour to obtain certification and there are no refunds within 7 days. Obviously, I did not sleep last night. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to the site, replied to e-mails from the course director. I wrote the brief bio they'd requested and submitted it. And never once, did I think the days were anything but Saturday and Sunday. It did strike me as odd that they were holding class on the same day as the Houston Marathon (tomorrow), but I didn't really give it much thought.
The test is a 100 question on-line test that I will have 30 days to complete. I will have all the materials from yesterday's seminars, but I will have missed the part I was so looking forward to. I don't even know if I will be allowed to join in today since I missed yesterday. I am about to find out.
So where is my head. Well, no doubt, this sucks. But I am going to put this out there BEFORE I go. BEFORE I know what the director will say and BEFORE I find out if I'm able to take today's seminars... I am ok. I have a very overwhelming sense of "this completely stinks, but it's going to be fine, whatever the outcome." It's a disappointment, not a tragedy. Life is so much easier when you can distinguish between the two.
Having great friends who provide humor in a suckish situation helps too. Thank you, Sarah, for reminding me to wear a hat today so they can't see that I am a blonde!
And Jen, looks like I can help you get at least halfway to Boston.
I was very prepared and organized for my trip. I flew in yesterday morning, spent the day with my sister and 2 very excited nieces and nephew I finally decided to look up the address for where I'd be driving in the morning. My brother in law, Geoff, mapquested it for me... looked easy enough, 23 miles away. I went to the RRCA site and went to the course overview section. As I scanned down the page (mind you, it is 8 pm), my eyes fixed on the course days: Friday, January 28th 7-4 and Saturday, January 29th 7-4. I looked again but the dates didn't change. It was Friday evening, January 28th. I had missed the first day.
So here I am. I have missed 8 hours of this expensive certification course. The requirements clearly state I must be present for the entire 16 hour to obtain certification and there are no refunds within 7 days. Obviously, I did not sleep last night. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to the site, replied to e-mails from the course director. I wrote the brief bio they'd requested and submitted it. And never once, did I think the days were anything but Saturday and Sunday. It did strike me as odd that they were holding class on the same day as the Houston Marathon (tomorrow), but I didn't really give it much thought.
The test is a 100 question on-line test that I will have 30 days to complete. I will have all the materials from yesterday's seminars, but I will have missed the part I was so looking forward to. I don't even know if I will be allowed to join in today since I missed yesterday. I am about to find out.
So where is my head. Well, no doubt, this sucks. But I am going to put this out there BEFORE I go. BEFORE I know what the director will say and BEFORE I find out if I'm able to take today's seminars... I am ok. I have a very overwhelming sense of "this completely stinks, but it's going to be fine, whatever the outcome." It's a disappointment, not a tragedy. Life is so much easier when you can distinguish between the two.
Having great friends who provide humor in a suckish situation helps too. Thank you, Sarah, for reminding me to wear a hat today so they can't see that I am a blonde!
And Jen, looks like I can help you get at least halfway to Boston.
Friday, January 21, 2011
TRX... my two cents
What the heck does this title mean and why am I blogging about it? TRX stands for "training resistance exercise". It is essentially a complete home gym that comes in the form of a few straps and anchors. It is sold by a company called Fitness Anywhere. At first glance, this thing looks quite gimmicky. I mean, it's not cheap (at least you don't think it is until you use it and find out what it's capable of doing for you). I believe it retails for about $189.00, plus you've got to purchase the anchors.... either for your door, ceiling or both. Why in the world would I EVER do a product review in my personal blog? Because I believe this could quite possibly be the best thing I can do to enhance or improve my running performance. And since this is a blog about running and I don't mean just any kind of running but the kind that will allow me to wave to my parents as I run past their alma mater (that would be Boston College), I'm blogging about it. And if you are a runner and you are reading this from anywhere in the world, you just may want to consider this.
Ok, a few months ago, Sarah tells me she is going to Columbus to take a certification course in something called TRX. It made no sense to me as she tried to describe this "suspension training" system. Sounded insane, but you know, whatever. I couldn't quite wrap my brain around what she was talking about. After she came home, she was pretty excited... and sore. So now I'm a bit intrigued because she is in tip top shape and it takes a lot for her to say she's sore. However if Sarah was sore, I immediately put the thought in my brain "too hard for me then, no thanks." About a week later, I ask her to bring the thing to my house so I could get a look at what she was talking about. So she comes over and pulls out these black straps (I know, that sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? There is a reason I put them in my checked luggage when I recently traveled and not on my carry on... didn't want security asking me to explain the straps which surely would have been questioned because there is metal on the anchor points). Now one thing that is important to stress is that Sarah doesn't ever push products or equipment or really anything. You ask her what the best refueling drink is after a long run and you'll get "good old chocolate milk". Not any of the super janked up protein drinks marketed for post work-out recovery (although we both like Rockin' Refuel.. flavored milk that has a hefty dose of protein... and tastes YUMMY). As someone who is a registered dietician with a masters degree in nutrition AND who is a dedicated and kick-ass runner, it's safe to assume I trust her when it comes to her opinion on this stuff. So she brings over her TRX and is showing me what you do with it and I am very intrigued. I can tell by the cards that come with it that I am going to like it. It works your arms, legs, butt and core (I am so thinking "total gym" infomercial with Christy Brinkley and Chuck Norris right now... please don't.. totally different). What I should also mention is that any piece of exercise equipment I have EVER invested in, I use... which is why you will never find a treadmill in my house. So if you are the type to buy stuff that looks neat so that you can work-out at home then never use it, don't bother with this either. It will just sit in a corner. And I'm not going to promise that this will be any different and that you will for sure be using it... if you aren't the type to motivate yourself to do it, you ain't gonna do it. It's work. But this is about MY experience with it.
Well, I ordered one, knowing that because I bought it, I would use it. Along with it, I got both the door and ceiling anchors. I usually strength train twice a week and try to target my core both at the gym and at home about 4 times a week. Strengthening this central area of my body has had a huge effect on my running performance. I never realized how important that was, but all the books and magazines I was reading were saying this so I began to really target that area about a year ago. I think I have a pretty strong core. But TRX was kicking my butt. All the exercises you do require you to use your core muscles. So even when you are not specifically targeting that muscle group (say you are doing arms or legs), they are continuously engaged. And then you get to the core specific exercises and WOW! Those are super awesome and pretty intense. Essentially, you are using your own body weight to strength train. I wanted to know how it differed from using weights because that is what I'm used to and I didn't wanting to be losing anything by replacing it with TRX, so I've looked up some comparisons on-line. I think if you are interested in bulking up and gaining significant muscle mass, you need to still use weights. But you have to evaluate your fitness goals to make the decision. Everything I do that isn't running is done to improve my running (although I do enjoy cycling... but hey, that improves running too). I don't like lifting weights. Never have. I consider them necessary to strengthen my body so that I can run better. I now use my TRX 3 times a week (Sarah teaches a TRX class twice a week and I use it at home one other day) but I think I will still hit the weights once a week.... only because I hate giving something up. Do I think TRX alone is enough to improve my running. Absolutely yes! In the six weeks I've been using it (more so in the last two of classes), I can tell a big difference in core strength. But remember, I'm consistent. I USE it.
So there you go. My analysis of the TRX system. I love it. For what it does as a total body workout, it is not expensive. If you are a runner (or even if you are not and want something different in the world of resistance training), consider it. I believe it will be a huge asset to improving performance. I've attached a link for you to check out if you are like me and cannot possibly imagine what this thing is:
https://www.fitnessanywhere.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=SFNT&AFFIL=1JIU1521&utm_source=Affiliate&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=1JIU1521status=gasent
Ok, a few months ago, Sarah tells me she is going to Columbus to take a certification course in something called TRX. It made no sense to me as she tried to describe this "suspension training" system. Sounded insane, but you know, whatever. I couldn't quite wrap my brain around what she was talking about. After she came home, she was pretty excited... and sore. So now I'm a bit intrigued because she is in tip top shape and it takes a lot for her to say she's sore. However if Sarah was sore, I immediately put the thought in my brain "too hard for me then, no thanks." About a week later, I ask her to bring the thing to my house so I could get a look at what she was talking about. So she comes over and pulls out these black straps (I know, that sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? There is a reason I put them in my checked luggage when I recently traveled and not on my carry on... didn't want security asking me to explain the straps which surely would have been questioned because there is metal on the anchor points). Now one thing that is important to stress is that Sarah doesn't ever push products or equipment or really anything. You ask her what the best refueling drink is after a long run and you'll get "good old chocolate milk". Not any of the super janked up protein drinks marketed for post work-out recovery (although we both like Rockin' Refuel.. flavored milk that has a hefty dose of protein... and tastes YUMMY). As someone who is a registered dietician with a masters degree in nutrition AND who is a dedicated and kick-ass runner, it's safe to assume I trust her when it comes to her opinion on this stuff. So she brings over her TRX and is showing me what you do with it and I am very intrigued. I can tell by the cards that come with it that I am going to like it. It works your arms, legs, butt and core (I am so thinking "total gym" infomercial with Christy Brinkley and Chuck Norris right now... please don't.. totally different). What I should also mention is that any piece of exercise equipment I have EVER invested in, I use... which is why you will never find a treadmill in my house. So if you are the type to buy stuff that looks neat so that you can work-out at home then never use it, don't bother with this either. It will just sit in a corner. And I'm not going to promise that this will be any different and that you will for sure be using it... if you aren't the type to motivate yourself to do it, you ain't gonna do it. It's work. But this is about MY experience with it.
Well, I ordered one, knowing that because I bought it, I would use it. Along with it, I got both the door and ceiling anchors. I usually strength train twice a week and try to target my core both at the gym and at home about 4 times a week. Strengthening this central area of my body has had a huge effect on my running performance. I never realized how important that was, but all the books and magazines I was reading were saying this so I began to really target that area about a year ago. I think I have a pretty strong core. But TRX was kicking my butt. All the exercises you do require you to use your core muscles. So even when you are not specifically targeting that muscle group (say you are doing arms or legs), they are continuously engaged. And then you get to the core specific exercises and WOW! Those are super awesome and pretty intense. Essentially, you are using your own body weight to strength train. I wanted to know how it differed from using weights because that is what I'm used to and I didn't wanting to be losing anything by replacing it with TRX, so I've looked up some comparisons on-line. I think if you are interested in bulking up and gaining significant muscle mass, you need to still use weights. But you have to evaluate your fitness goals to make the decision. Everything I do that isn't running is done to improve my running (although I do enjoy cycling... but hey, that improves running too). I don't like lifting weights. Never have. I consider them necessary to strengthen my body so that I can run better. I now use my TRX 3 times a week (Sarah teaches a TRX class twice a week and I use it at home one other day) but I think I will still hit the weights once a week.... only because I hate giving something up. Do I think TRX alone is enough to improve my running. Absolutely yes! In the six weeks I've been using it (more so in the last two of classes), I can tell a big difference in core strength. But remember, I'm consistent. I USE it.
So there you go. My analysis of the TRX system. I love it. For what it does as a total body workout, it is not expensive. If you are a runner (or even if you are not and want something different in the world of resistance training), consider it. I believe it will be a huge asset to improving performance. I've attached a link for you to check out if you are like me and cannot possibly imagine what this thing is:
https://www.fitnessanywhere.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=SFNT&AFFIL=1JIU1521&utm_source=Affiliate&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=1JIU1521status=gasent
Thursday, January 20, 2011
For those concerned..
No, I didn't run today. I'm not a total dumbass. But for the record, it isn't because anything is bothering me. It's just because I think I've tempted fate enough running three days in a row! Bring on the snow... my yak traks need some exercise (not today, maybe tomorrow or Saturday)!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Asking.... and receiving
This post is gonna be deep. Journals are supposed to be, right? I believe that sometimes God talks to you subtly, you know, like sends you little messages that you kinda might think are signs from God, but you could also interpret as coincidence, luck, karma, fate, whatever. And sometimes God hits you over the head with a mallet as if to say, "I am speaking to you and you need to listen." I firmly believe the most recent turn of events with my calf issues are the latter... a loud and clear message being sent. I am a deeply spiritual person, but am also rather private when it comes to my spirituality. I'll frequently engage in conversations with others about our various beliefs and interpretations of religious law (kind of fun to hear how different we all interpret the same religion), and I certainly have no problem revealing that I know God is ever present in our lives and plays the biggest role in who we are and what our life journey should be about. But when it comes to revealing my private "run-ins" with God or copying and pasting my belief in Christ as my status update on Facebook when requested, well, I'm not that person.
However, there is something I would really like to share.
In my post last week (Thursday), I revealed that I had indeed started running again and that after my run on Wednesday, I was feeling a little bit of tightness. The ever familiar feeling that was continuously leading me to bigger problems was back. As I said I would do, I waited until Saturday to run again and all was well. I was truly skeptical as I headed out. Just KNOWING what might happen. But it didn't. I ran again Monday. Then Tuesday. And I ran this morning. I have logged 14 miles in three days (6, 4 and 4). I am feeling not an inkling of lingering injury. How can this be? I haven't been able to do this kind of running since before the Columbus Marathon. Last Wednesday I thought I might be headed back to the injured list.
After a particularly frustrating day last Thursday, I found myself sitting quietly (in this house that alone is an act of God with these continuos stupid snow days!). My calf felt fine and I was toying with the idea of a run Friday morning even though I had some signs to wait another day on Wed. I sat there alone and began to pray. But my prayer was a selfish one. It went something like this.... "Ok, God. I give up. I am at the end of my rope. I'm out of patience. I'm frustrated. I want to run some races and I want to do some long runs. You know, the kind that challenge my body and clear my head. The kind that make me more tolerant, patient and calm. I am begging you to speed the healing of my injury. I am sick to death of the setbacks. I am sick to death of trying to find the ever hidden lessons of the beauty of injury. This sucks and I want to be completely and totally free to run as many miles as I want. Please make this happen. I don't mean to be ungrateful for the fact that I've been able to do so many other things in place of running but it isn't the same and I just can't take it anymore. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. Anything." As I sat there, I knew my request was a long shot and laughable. God doesn't respond to the requests of his children who are acting like spoiled brats. I knew that. I guess it just made me feel better at that moment.
Saturday's run went well and I expected it to because I went out easy and had taken an additional day off. At mass on Sunday, our deacon, Don Meyer, stood at the pulpit at the end of mass to talk to the congregation about the need for volunteers for the St. Vincent de Paul society. He spoke of the great need of the poor in our community. The need for volunteers to answer phones, coordinate drop offs and visit and listen to the needs of the people who have sought help there. I listened, figured I'd get the info from the bulletin, consider it and then if I had time (yeah, right), offer my help. Once I left mass, I put it out of my mind.
As I set out on Monday morning for my run listening to music and trotting along, I suddenly began to think about deacon Meyer's request at mass the day before. I don't know why it hit me then, but it did (I find a lot of humor in the fact that EMINEM can be screaming in my ear and I am thinking of church) I began to think that perhaps this was something I should really consider doing. I am forever acknowledging that I have so many blessings in which to be thankful and so many people out there do not. I believe firmly (and have had conversations with friends) that as human beings, we have a responsibility to care for one another and help each other if we are able. I often recall a homily I once heard with the words "From those with much, much is required." And by much, I don't necessarily mean wealth or power. It could mean anything... kindness or friendship or going out of your way to help someone even when you don't want to. My friend Kim has said "You never know if that is Jesus standing there asking for help." And to that my reply is "You are right. You don't know. But even if it's not Jesus, you should help anyway."
I got home, happily realized that after being lost in thought, my leg felt fine. Again, I put the thought of St. Vincent de Paul out of my head. Tuesday I decided to run again. I didn't want any of my friends to know I was running for fear I get criticized for going out "two days in a row." I thought they were running at 5:00 am (now I re-read the e-mail and it's clearly says 5:30). I chose to go out at 5:30 so that I would not see any of them. My flat route takes me down some of the roads they run. As I headed out the door, once again with my music, happily trotting along, the thought of deacon Meyer's request entered my head. "Wow, this is weird", was my thought. I vowed to get the bulletin and check out the information. I continued to think about ways that I would be asked to help. Could I go into someone's home who is in a desperate situation and console them? What would I wear? I mean, I don't want to appear overdressed, but I wouldn't want to insult someone by wearing tattered clothes either. Before I knew it, a flashing light on the other side of the street appeared to be approaching. The running gait was very familiar... "SHIT!" It was Sarah. Definitely not who I wanted to "run" in to. I thought she was running at 5. My thoughts turned to the e-mail I would be receiving about what the heck I was doing running down New Haven after running on Monday. My excuses started piling up and ending finally with "I am 38 years old. I am an adult. You are not my mother and I can do what I want." On the contrary, about an hour later I indeed received an e-mail from my friend that wasn't necessarily about running, but at the end included the sentence "It was nice seeing you cruising down New Haven this morning....." It was a welcomed and wonderful surprise to read that. And I did thank her for it. Honestly she probably thinks "I give up. This chic will never learn."
Today I went out again, and again, the thought of Sunday's request for help entered my mind. Finally the lightbulb has gone on (I'm a slow learner). It would be very easy to justify why I feel so good this week.... super powered jet in the hot tub that I let massage my calf daily. No cross-training this week per recommendation by a friend. But I am inclined to believe otherwise, even though my injury is so small in the world of things that could be wrong. People pray to be healed of all kinds of horrible illnesses and disease and often times, their prayers are not answered in the way they would like them to be. I made a selfish and desperate request in prayer. I promised that I would do anything for the complete healing of my calf. God uses people to do his work on earth. During my comfortable, pain free runs this week I have had the same reoccurring thoughts of calling and volunteering for the St. Vincent de Paul society. I'm going with the 'ol "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" mentality. The other option is that I've worn God down and he is REALLY tired of hearing about me not being able to run..... quite likely.
My lesson for today (and I guess every day).... it's ok to ask. Just be willing to also listen to what may be being asked of you.
Disclaimer.... this does NOT mean I am going to be carelessly hitting the track or doing long runs anytime soon. It's just the biggest advancement so far.
However, there is something I would really like to share.
In my post last week (Thursday), I revealed that I had indeed started running again and that after my run on Wednesday, I was feeling a little bit of tightness. The ever familiar feeling that was continuously leading me to bigger problems was back. As I said I would do, I waited until Saturday to run again and all was well. I was truly skeptical as I headed out. Just KNOWING what might happen. But it didn't. I ran again Monday. Then Tuesday. And I ran this morning. I have logged 14 miles in three days (6, 4 and 4). I am feeling not an inkling of lingering injury. How can this be? I haven't been able to do this kind of running since before the Columbus Marathon. Last Wednesday I thought I might be headed back to the injured list.
After a particularly frustrating day last Thursday, I found myself sitting quietly (in this house that alone is an act of God with these continuos stupid snow days!). My calf felt fine and I was toying with the idea of a run Friday morning even though I had some signs to wait another day on Wed. I sat there alone and began to pray. But my prayer was a selfish one. It went something like this.... "Ok, God. I give up. I am at the end of my rope. I'm out of patience. I'm frustrated. I want to run some races and I want to do some long runs. You know, the kind that challenge my body and clear my head. The kind that make me more tolerant, patient and calm. I am begging you to speed the healing of my injury. I am sick to death of the setbacks. I am sick to death of trying to find the ever hidden lessons of the beauty of injury. This sucks and I want to be completely and totally free to run as many miles as I want. Please make this happen. I don't mean to be ungrateful for the fact that I've been able to do so many other things in place of running but it isn't the same and I just can't take it anymore. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. Anything." As I sat there, I knew my request was a long shot and laughable. God doesn't respond to the requests of his children who are acting like spoiled brats. I knew that. I guess it just made me feel better at that moment.
Saturday's run went well and I expected it to because I went out easy and had taken an additional day off. At mass on Sunday, our deacon, Don Meyer, stood at the pulpit at the end of mass to talk to the congregation about the need for volunteers for the St. Vincent de Paul society. He spoke of the great need of the poor in our community. The need for volunteers to answer phones, coordinate drop offs and visit and listen to the needs of the people who have sought help there. I listened, figured I'd get the info from the bulletin, consider it and then if I had time (yeah, right), offer my help. Once I left mass, I put it out of my mind.
As I set out on Monday morning for my run listening to music and trotting along, I suddenly began to think about deacon Meyer's request at mass the day before. I don't know why it hit me then, but it did (I find a lot of humor in the fact that EMINEM can be screaming in my ear and I am thinking of church) I began to think that perhaps this was something I should really consider doing. I am forever acknowledging that I have so many blessings in which to be thankful and so many people out there do not. I believe firmly (and have had conversations with friends) that as human beings, we have a responsibility to care for one another and help each other if we are able. I often recall a homily I once heard with the words "From those with much, much is required." And by much, I don't necessarily mean wealth or power. It could mean anything... kindness or friendship or going out of your way to help someone even when you don't want to. My friend Kim has said "You never know if that is Jesus standing there asking for help." And to that my reply is "You are right. You don't know. But even if it's not Jesus, you should help anyway."
I got home, happily realized that after being lost in thought, my leg felt fine. Again, I put the thought of St. Vincent de Paul out of my head. Tuesday I decided to run again. I didn't want any of my friends to know I was running for fear I get criticized for going out "two days in a row." I thought they were running at 5:00 am (now I re-read the e-mail and it's clearly says 5:30). I chose to go out at 5:30 so that I would not see any of them. My flat route takes me down some of the roads they run. As I headed out the door, once again with my music, happily trotting along, the thought of deacon Meyer's request entered my head. "Wow, this is weird", was my thought. I vowed to get the bulletin and check out the information. I continued to think about ways that I would be asked to help. Could I go into someone's home who is in a desperate situation and console them? What would I wear? I mean, I don't want to appear overdressed, but I wouldn't want to insult someone by wearing tattered clothes either. Before I knew it, a flashing light on the other side of the street appeared to be approaching. The running gait was very familiar... "SHIT!" It was Sarah. Definitely not who I wanted to "run" in to. I thought she was running at 5. My thoughts turned to the e-mail I would be receiving about what the heck I was doing running down New Haven after running on Monday. My excuses started piling up and ending finally with "I am 38 years old. I am an adult. You are not my mother and I can do what I want." On the contrary, about an hour later I indeed received an e-mail from my friend that wasn't necessarily about running, but at the end included the sentence "It was nice seeing you cruising down New Haven this morning....." It was a welcomed and wonderful surprise to read that. And I did thank her for it. Honestly she probably thinks "I give up. This chic will never learn."
Today I went out again, and again, the thought of Sunday's request for help entered my mind. Finally the lightbulb has gone on (I'm a slow learner). It would be very easy to justify why I feel so good this week.... super powered jet in the hot tub that I let massage my calf daily. No cross-training this week per recommendation by a friend. But I am inclined to believe otherwise, even though my injury is so small in the world of things that could be wrong. People pray to be healed of all kinds of horrible illnesses and disease and often times, their prayers are not answered in the way they would like them to be. I made a selfish and desperate request in prayer. I promised that I would do anything for the complete healing of my calf. God uses people to do his work on earth. During my comfortable, pain free runs this week I have had the same reoccurring thoughts of calling and volunteering for the St. Vincent de Paul society. I'm going with the 'ol "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" mentality. The other option is that I've worn God down and he is REALLY tired of hearing about me not being able to run..... quite likely.
My lesson for today (and I guess every day).... it's ok to ask. Just be willing to also listen to what may be being asked of you.
Disclaimer.... this does NOT mean I am going to be carelessly hitting the track or doing long runs anytime soon. It's just the biggest advancement so far.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
... and?
Still running, still pain, tightness, soreness free. Very cautious, but VERY happy. More on this but perhaps at a time when Emma isn't face painting Lucy and Mitch!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
...now where was I
Gotta love when you accidentally hit "publish" when you are not done!
So anyway, I was saying I'm anxious to get back out there. Not new news but what is new is that time if I need to stop, I'll do it sooner rather than later. So no eye-rolling, exasperated head shaking or lecturing necessary (not mentioning any names of who I could possibly be talking about). The ping pong game continues.
The end. For real.
So anyway, I was saying I'm anxious to get back out there. Not new news but what is new is that time if I need to stop, I'll do it sooner rather than later. So no eye-rolling, exasperated head shaking or lecturing necessary (not mentioning any names of who I could possibly be talking about). The ping pong game continues.
The end. For real.
What up?
Well it's January 13th and so far, only one entry this month. I know it's thrown you off as you anxiously await the next exciting entry about my running life each day! Ok, there is heavy sarcasm in that sentence. There just isn't much to tell. I hesitate to disclose whether or not I've been running. And by that, I'm sure y'all realize I have!
As promised, to myself, I waited my two weeks. Other than jogging a very short distance last week to meet Suttan for morning walks (less than a mile), I really hadn't done any running. Monday morning I laced up and nervously went for a run. I went by myself as not to be tempted by speeds I shouldn't be running right now. Things felt great. I came home and John was dressed for work and practically asleep on the couch. "How'd it go?". By now, he is as anxious as I am for a complete recovery. "It was good. No pain anywhere." "Glad to hear it." Eyes close again for a few more minutes of sleep before his crazy day begins... Off topic, my question is why doesn't he just stay in bed longer instead of getting up and ready and then napping for a bit on the couch? Makes no sense to me, but I guess it's just his thing.
I'm nervous about tomorrow's run. May even push it to Saturday. Wednesday I ran again. While running things felt fine but throughout the day, I had tightness in my calf. Tightness doesn't bother me so much but I don't want it to develop into soreness which is what I'm
afraid of. Soreness that continues to get pushed leads to pain and pain is something that halts my running. I've ignored both tightness, then soreness before and the end result has always been bad, so this one, I approach with caution. So the question is this... Am I being careless running again? Well, I can't imagine any runner out there wouldn't run if they were feeling great, went out slowly and cautiously and felt no discomfort. Every single one of us would then go out again. I know lots of runners who run through all kinds of pain. And I would too if I wasn't looking toward the fact that doing so will not allow me to race well and would zap any enjoyment I got while running not to mention lead to way big problems. So no, I'm not being careless....this time anyway. It's true I'm in a hurry to shed the 5 lbs I've gained since October and no I don't think I'm fat but it bugs the shit out of me nonetheless.
As promised, to myself, I waited my two weeks. Other than jogging a very short distance last week to meet Suttan for morning walks (less than a mile), I really hadn't done any running. Monday morning I laced up and nervously went for a run. I went by myself as not to be tempted by speeds I shouldn't be running right now. Things felt great. I came home and John was dressed for work and practically asleep on the couch. "How'd it go?". By now, he is as anxious as I am for a complete recovery. "It was good. No pain anywhere." "Glad to hear it." Eyes close again for a few more minutes of sleep before his crazy day begins... Off topic, my question is why doesn't he just stay in bed longer instead of getting up and ready and then napping for a bit on the couch? Makes no sense to me, but I guess it's just his thing.
I'm nervous about tomorrow's run. May even push it to Saturday. Wednesday I ran again. While running things felt fine but throughout the day, I had tightness in my calf. Tightness doesn't bother me so much but I don't want it to develop into soreness which is what I'm
afraid of. Soreness that continues to get pushed leads to pain and pain is something that halts my running. I've ignored both tightness, then soreness before and the end result has always been bad, so this one, I approach with caution. So the question is this... Am I being careless running again? Well, I can't imagine any runner out there wouldn't run if they were feeling great, went out slowly and cautiously and felt no discomfort. Every single one of us would then go out again. I know lots of runners who run through all kinds of pain. And I would too if I wasn't looking toward the fact that doing so will not allow me to race well and would zap any enjoyment I got while running not to mention lead to way big problems. So no, I'm not being careless....this time anyway. It's true I'm in a hurry to shed the 5 lbs I've gained since October and no I don't think I'm fat but it bugs the shit out of me nonetheless.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Hard Wired
If you've ever asked anyone in passing "Hey, how's it going?" The response is usually "good, how 'bout you?" That response is what is called "hard wired." An automatic response to a frequently asked question. This excludes the occasional soul that needs to tell you chapter and verse of their miserable existence (we all know those types).
While in New Jersey for my uncle's funeral on Tuesday, I got the chance to sit down and talk to my aunt, his widow, about the progression of his brain cancer. One of the things she began to notice was that he was doing things that were routine at odd times. For example, he was taking a medication that was really interfering with his sleep patterns. He'd fall asleep at 7 pm, wake up at 9 pm and think it was morning. He'd go out to the yard and look for his morning paper, just as he did every single day of his adult life. My aunt, very concerned with his behavior, called the nurses who frequently cared for him and questioned the behavior. "Mary, that response is hard wired. It's what he's always done and it's automatic. He thinks it's morning, therefore, he goes for the paper... just like he does every morning." She continued to give more examples of things he did that were "hard wired", or so routine that they were as automatic as breathing. During a tribute to his father, my cousin talked about how he had gotten used to the smell of coffee brewing at 4:30 am. His father was a "VERY early riser". Sounds pretty normal to me :)
I began to think about the concept of being hard wired. We all are in some ways. Some of those ways are helpful and productive (making sure no dishes are in the sink before going to bed at night, folding laundry and putting it away as soon as it comes out of the dryer... and by the way these are not examples of how I roll). Others are harmful... angry outbursts, bad language that rolls off your tongue like nothing (can't think of anyone I know like that offhand...) and running (seriously, you DID know this was coming, right?).
Though my habits haven't been formed over my lifetime, they've been around long enough for them to become hard wired, which makes them so difficult to change. Getting up, starting the coffee and coming back upstairs to get on running clothes and check e-mail while coffee brewed was automatic for me. Every day but Friday, this was the routine. Long run, short run, tempo, track or hills. Didn't matter. The day always started the same even if the workout was different. Rewiring this portion of my brain during injury has been difficult but I've adjusted. I've been anxious to get that routine back, as proven by the number of times I've started running (and making sure that I recalled my pre-injury routine) only to have to take more time off.
The other part that has become hard wired is that I'm always looking to the next marathon. I run a marathon, take some time to recover and then look toward the next one. It's normal, right? Maybe not, but it had become normal. Sure, most of this centered around which marathon I could use as a BQ after a failed attempt, but I think had I made Boston or not, this would continue (maybe in the form of ultras!) And so, even in the face of injury, because this is what I always do, I looked toward my next marathon, the Flying Pig. I registered right away, got the early bird discount and felt that surely I'd be ready to train when the time came to start. Well I wasn't. So I've looked at plans that require less time, but still will get me what I want. And I'm anxious so I start running again. And things go well, so I go faster. And then I'm hurting again.... running marathons and qualifying for Boston has become hard wired.
I decide I'll take two full weeks off. Regardless of how I good I may feel after one... I am going to be smart and take two. I feel great after a few days, wait out the first week, remember that time is ticking by for marathon training, get anxious and think one week is good enough. See where I'm going here? Stupidity and stubbornness are also hard wired.
So it is for that reason that I have decided to switch my registration for the Flying Pig to the half marathon instead of the full. That and my husband simply cannot take another season of a devastated wife who not only didn't qualify, but now can't run Chicago because she trained too hard on a bum calf and screwed things up during the full Flying Pig. This decision is HARD! Taking time off from going for a BQ was NOT something I was going to do. I was going to run myself into the ground if that is what it took until I scratched that damn marathon off my bucket list. I'd been advised to "Give it a break. Go back to it later, when your mind is in a better place" and I've always scoffed at the idea, thinking that I would never be satisfied doing anything else until my goal was achieved. And perhaps I won't be satisfied, but this is necessary or I am certain I will pay dearly for what I will put my body through when it's injured. In other words, I must go back to this when my body is in a better place.
So I must now change my wiring. Not easy, but doable. The beauty of being human is that we can do that. We are not animals that react ONLY out of instinct. We have the ability to decision make and problem solve and hard as it may be, make changes.
God, please heal me enough so that I don't have to adjust my hard wiring again and run only the Flying Pig 5k the day before. Amen.
While in New Jersey for my uncle's funeral on Tuesday, I got the chance to sit down and talk to my aunt, his widow, about the progression of his brain cancer. One of the things she began to notice was that he was doing things that were routine at odd times. For example, he was taking a medication that was really interfering with his sleep patterns. He'd fall asleep at 7 pm, wake up at 9 pm and think it was morning. He'd go out to the yard and look for his morning paper, just as he did every single day of his adult life. My aunt, very concerned with his behavior, called the nurses who frequently cared for him and questioned the behavior. "Mary, that response is hard wired. It's what he's always done and it's automatic. He thinks it's morning, therefore, he goes for the paper... just like he does every morning." She continued to give more examples of things he did that were "hard wired", or so routine that they were as automatic as breathing. During a tribute to his father, my cousin talked about how he had gotten used to the smell of coffee brewing at 4:30 am. His father was a "VERY early riser". Sounds pretty normal to me :)
I began to think about the concept of being hard wired. We all are in some ways. Some of those ways are helpful and productive (making sure no dishes are in the sink before going to bed at night, folding laundry and putting it away as soon as it comes out of the dryer... and by the way these are not examples of how I roll). Others are harmful... angry outbursts, bad language that rolls off your tongue like nothing (can't think of anyone I know like that offhand...) and running (seriously, you DID know this was coming, right?).
Though my habits haven't been formed over my lifetime, they've been around long enough for them to become hard wired, which makes them so difficult to change. Getting up, starting the coffee and coming back upstairs to get on running clothes and check e-mail while coffee brewed was automatic for me. Every day but Friday, this was the routine. Long run, short run, tempo, track or hills. Didn't matter. The day always started the same even if the workout was different. Rewiring this portion of my brain during injury has been difficult but I've adjusted. I've been anxious to get that routine back, as proven by the number of times I've started running (and making sure that I recalled my pre-injury routine) only to have to take more time off.
The other part that has become hard wired is that I'm always looking to the next marathon. I run a marathon, take some time to recover and then look toward the next one. It's normal, right? Maybe not, but it had become normal. Sure, most of this centered around which marathon I could use as a BQ after a failed attempt, but I think had I made Boston or not, this would continue (maybe in the form of ultras!) And so, even in the face of injury, because this is what I always do, I looked toward my next marathon, the Flying Pig. I registered right away, got the early bird discount and felt that surely I'd be ready to train when the time came to start. Well I wasn't. So I've looked at plans that require less time, but still will get me what I want. And I'm anxious so I start running again. And things go well, so I go faster. And then I'm hurting again.... running marathons and qualifying for Boston has become hard wired.
I decide I'll take two full weeks off. Regardless of how I good I may feel after one... I am going to be smart and take two. I feel great after a few days, wait out the first week, remember that time is ticking by for marathon training, get anxious and think one week is good enough. See where I'm going here? Stupidity and stubbornness are also hard wired.
So it is for that reason that I have decided to switch my registration for the Flying Pig to the half marathon instead of the full. That and my husband simply cannot take another season of a devastated wife who not only didn't qualify, but now can't run Chicago because she trained too hard on a bum calf and screwed things up during the full Flying Pig. This decision is HARD! Taking time off from going for a BQ was NOT something I was going to do. I was going to run myself into the ground if that is what it took until I scratched that damn marathon off my bucket list. I'd been advised to "Give it a break. Go back to it later, when your mind is in a better place" and I've always scoffed at the idea, thinking that I would never be satisfied doing anything else until my goal was achieved. And perhaps I won't be satisfied, but this is necessary or I am certain I will pay dearly for what I will put my body through when it's injured. In other words, I must go back to this when my body is in a better place.
So I must now change my wiring. Not easy, but doable. The beauty of being human is that we can do that. We are not animals that react ONLY out of instinct. We have the ability to decision make and problem solve and hard as it may be, make changes.
God, please heal me enough so that I don't have to adjust my hard wiring again and run only the Flying Pig 5k the day before. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)