I used to get mad when things outside of my control interfered with training. Often times it was due to a restless night sleep or a family obligation that caused a scheduling conflict and perhaps disrupted plans for a long run. Then there were the times the weather was so treacherous that there was no way I could get out. And let's not forget injury... the worst (and sometimes permanent) training disruption possible.
But I have come a long way. Call it maturity or experience or divine grace that I have learned to roll with life's unpredictable curve balls.
This week has been disrupted. Lucy is sick and is now on her third day home from school. It's not too big a deal as I can still run before John leaves for work, but I cannot get on trails... which is what I need. The road miles are definitely better than no miles and since Burning River isn't until July, I technically still have plenty of time for that race. But there is an upcoming trail marathon just a mere 5 1/2 weeks away that I am doing. Yes, it is supposed to be for training, but I'm not ready to spend 5 plus hours going 26.2 miles on a technical trail quite yet. I don't want to push myself to the point of needing a lot of recovery time. That is not the purpose of a training run. That is more the idea for a race... as my friend Molly once said, "Train to race, don't race to train." Awesome and wise words!
I am not freaking out or worried about not being ready. I will just deal with that day as it presents. After all, it has been a long time since one of my children has needed me in such a physical and tangible way. These days there is a lot of emotional need, which at times I don't feel equipped to handle. But mostly gone are the days where I am needed to hold and cuddle and be physically present. Right now, this is what Lucy needs and I am embracing it fully, despite the disruption in training. Lucy threw up all day on Monday, had a fever yesterday and was throwing up (or dry heaving since the poor baby has nothing in her stomach but acid) all throughout the night last night. The recognition of grace came at 2:30 am... the moment I realized I was less worried about the fact that I would not be running trails again today, but was overcome with concern, pity and love for my miserable 6 year old. Time and time again throughout the night she ran to the bathroom and each time I followed, never angry or upset over lost sleep.
I had not realized how much I've changed until this moment. Once again, I am in awe at the workings of God in the most unusual circumstances. To recognize growth and grace over the toilet in the middle of the night is quite unordinary. But then again, God is anything but ordinary.
Special prayers of thanksgiving for Tammy, my friend I posted about with breast cancer (who said I could use her name :). Tammy's scans came back clean, which means the cancer is contained and does not involve the lymph nodes. She starts her first chemo treatment today so I'll be praying all goes well with that. Thanks to all who have prayed for her!
...now I must go log a few road miles.
No comments:
Post a Comment