"I certify that I am adequately trained, physically fit, and capable of participating in this 100 mile ultra-endurance event over and off roads, trails, and extremely rugged terrain and I recognize the significant risks involved, such as exhaustion, physical injury, heat stroke, dehydration, and vehicle and pedestrian traffic. In consideration of allowing my participation in the Burning River 100, I hereby waive and release all claims and liabilities arising directly or indirectly out of, or relating to my participation in that event, and I further agree to indemnify and hold harmless Western Reserve Trail Running, Inc., Cuyahoga Valley National Park, Cleveland Metroparks, and Metroparks Serving Summit County, and their respective directors, trustees, officers, affiliates, agents, contractors, representatives, and volunteers from all losses, costs, liability, damages, and claims arising from my participation....."
Uh, YES.... wait, MAYBE.... oh, jeez, I don't know. Where is the "I think so" box. Or even better the "I sure as hell hope so" box for me to check.
I was going to wait to register until January 1st. But since I couldn't stand "not training" any longer, I officially jump started 100 mile training this week (which conveniently started with a rest day... going well, don't you think?) Give me credit, though. Two months is a long time to be resting. Since the MCM on October 27th, I have been running very sporadically. Mostly 3 days a week and not very far, either. My longest run was 10 miles (this past weekend). So that was a good 5 weeks of downtime and about as much as I could handle. I realize I SAY a lot of things I don't really mean. And saying I was going to take it easy for two months turned out to be one of them.
So this is my adventure/goal for 2013. To COMPLETE the 100 mile distance in the Burning River 100 on July 27/28th. You know it's a long-ass race when the race date has 2 days listed!
The looks one gets when telling people about this are not of admiration like they are when telling people you are running a marathon. It's funny, the response is usually "...all in one day? Why? That sounds horrible and unsafe." And to those people's credit, they are right. I remember being with Jack during his 2nd Burning River (yes, the one I said I would NEVER, EVER do... please refer to the above sentence about me saying things I don't mean). Anyway, there were horrible and scary moments. There were times I felt it was unsafe for him to go on. I was miserable and was completing less than 1/3 the distance. But that wasn't my race and it wasn't about me so I couldn't possibly understand that Jack's mindset was totally different than mine. He was committed and ready to complete it and I was not. He spent a crazy amount of time preparing the psychological aspect needed to succeed. I had not. And I believe that without question, he KNEW his life was never in danger, even though I didn't. He felt terrible and was exhausted, but that is to be expected when doing an event like this. And because he pushed past all of it, he realized just how much the human body can endure. This is something so few people are willing to go find out. They aren't wrong or necessarily missing out for not wanting to, but the point is that we always have perceived limits and then we have actual limits. The difference between the two is ENORMOUS. I remember the surprise of my pregnancy with baby number 3, Jack. In my own perception, there was NO WAY I could handle another baby at that point in my life. With two small children, a husband who was a full-time student, living out of town, and a full time job, it simply seemed like an impossible feat. But as always, God knew I could handle it and he had a purpose for this tiny person. And gee, didn't it all work out so perfectly? Look where we are now? I can't imagine my life without this adorable, tender hearted, loving child. Perceived limits vs. actual limits... (Dear God, really... I think I've reached my actual limit on this one. Kindly requesting not to be proven wrong :)
Do I think God is telling me to run 100 miles? No way. Does He know I'm going to try anyway? Yes, He does. Does He know the intent I have in doing so and what I hope to make of it? Yes, He does. Does He know if I can do it? Yes, He does. Even if I don't know it. He already knows the outcome... whether I will complete it or not. But the outcome doesn't matter so much as the attempt in something like this and how I go forward with training and preparation.
I have a fund raising goal for this race (I really need to stop referring to this as a "race". That implies speed will be involved). In a few short weeks, more information about that will be put out, both here and on Facebook. My goal is to raise money for a select few organizations by obtaining pledges per mile. No money will go through me. All expenses incurred ... registration, travel, crew... will come out of my pocket and not be reimbursed by the pledges. Stayed tuned....
I am taking a risk and searching to bypass my perceived limits, but not quite reach my actual limit (I assume that is bad thing). I already know I can go 50 miles. I am certain I can also go 100. But don't be fooled, I am scared out of my wits to attempt it. I hope that the reminder of who/what charities will benefit from it serves to keep me strong and motivated during my training.
A few prayers from y'all would be nice too!
Sidenote: I got a lot of very nice e-mails from people who read about Sergio in my last post. Thank you for your prayers, especially for those who don't know him. Sergio's follow up appointment with his pediatrician revealed a grade 3 concussion. Concussions are labeled grade 1-4, depending on severity. The doctor was perplexed as his recovery is not matching the severity of what happened. Sergio is acting and recovering like a grade 1. Not that any one of us present needed it, but it is further proof of God's glaring presence in that gym as well as the power of prayer. Deb says that she is certain that when you call in angels for help, they come. Sergio had quite a few that night. Thank you for the prayers.