I'm running a 5k today. Maybe. I haven't decided and since it's only 6:07 and the race is at 10, it's anyone's guess whether I will or not. Yesterday it was a definite. Today, not so much. So what's the problem? What's the big deal? Why or why wouldn't I do it?
For starters, I haven't raced a 5k in 10 months. The one I raced 10 months ago was a PR and that was coming off of an injury. I haven't done any consistent speed work in 6 months. Sure, I've run a few fast miles here and there, but really, to get accomplished what I was after this year, I had to slow it down. Now I'm back to the speed thing and the stupid mind games that come with that have resurfaced. I hate that I care what kind of time I clock in a stupid Christmas 5k. I hate it because I will let it bug the living shit out of me if it isn't where I hope to be as a starting point for marathon training. No one else will care, but I don't care about that. I'll care. I guess that makes me a "dweller"... and I don't want to be that. I've worked hard NOT to be that.
Now I promise, I am not saying that just to impress people if I get a super, jacked out speedy time. Those types of people seriously have issues. If you don't know the type (if you are a runner that races often, I know you know the type)... they are the ones that show up at a race "on a whim" and of course "haven't been running at all" oh and yes, usually they have some sort of ailment going on such as "Oh if only I wasn't sporting 3 stress fractures and IT band sydrome and plantar warts and BLAH BLAH BLAH...." So they set the stage as an excuse for a possible poor race time. Then, they proceed to bust out the race of their lives. I mean, they pass you, fake limp while they are doing it and just maybe, pat you on the back "for encouragement" while they sail by. I have raced with that type of runner and I can now spot bullshit a hundred miles away on the 'ol "Oh I haven't been running...." In my mind, I trip those people as they go by. Just shut up and run. No excuses. Let the clock time speak for what you have or have not been doing. No one cares but you anyway.
So ok, I just talked myself into going. And I'll leave with this... I'll race my ass off today. It may land me a slower than I'd like race time, or it may land me a surprisingly great race time... maybe even a PR. I won't even say "but I doubt it..." I'll just go and run and see where all this ramped up mileage lands me. I'll mentally prepare for either outcome. And if I see you there... then great. Just remember, I haven't been doing any speed work... oh yeah, and I didn't sleep well last night. And I'm dehydrated. And a year ago, I had a stress fracture.